My little girl broke her arm right above the elbow 3 weeks ago - she's 4. Neither of my other 2 children, nor myself or husband, have broken anything other than a toe. We handled it pretty well in the beginning but it is taking its toll now. Within the past two weeks the x-rays came back that her bones shifted so last Monday she had to have surgery to put pins in - completely unexpected. I assumed we'd be dropping her off at daycare after her appointment and I would be heading into work. Instead, we headed up to the hospital. Waking up from the anesthesia was hard but overall she did great. We are really nervous when it comes time for these pins to come out!
Four days after surgery, Anissa and her friend got into playing with the garden hose and a third of her broken, casted, wrapped arm was soaked. Where was I you may wonder? Inside cleaning up the kitchen and she so badly just wanted to be outside. Having her play on the deck or in the yard is nothing unusual and it is near to impossible to keep children down. Needless to say we ended up back at the ER just to have the wrappings changed since it was so late in the afternoon on a Friday and the doctors had left for the day at the orthopedic office. Over the weekend her fingers started to look swollen and she's complaining (mostly through the night!) that her pinky finger hurts. I haven't been up through the night since she was an infant! So, combining lack of sleep with deadlines at my day job and my desire to paint tugging at my heart, I decided I can't do it all and I put everything away.
All of my painted and new canvases, paints, paper, brushes, everything - away. I have surrendered to the demands of being a mom. Who was I to think I could do this? I have chosen to have children (who I am over the moon about) and in order to take care of my family, my income makes a difference and I cannot entertain the thought of including painting into that equation.
My kids were shocked when they came home from schoolto see all of my 'stuff' which inhabited part of the dining room and was spreading closely to the living room, put away. A part of me was shocked that they even noticed!
I was sad. Within 2 days it was out again. Painting is part of nurturing mySELF - along with yoga, but I will find time for that again as well. It's something I HAVE to do, even if nobody else understands. But, a part of me thinks they do - at least my family.
I created this painting in response to all of this. It's hard, I know, but find and hold onto something that nurtures your heart. It will ripple into every area of your life.